Damianus
Abun
Abstract
The
existence of broken world cannot be denied. Human beings have to accept the
fact that this broken world is caused by human beings themselves. The solution
is going back to human beings. Since society is built upon relations, therefore
human relationship has to be restored to heal the broken world. The kind of
human relationship that can restore unified society is subject to subject relationship,
not subject to object relationship. World crisis is caused by I-It relationship
in which another human being is treated as object and as a result abuse and
manipulation are becoming the norms of relationship. Conflict happens because
of misunderstanding and such misunderstanding is caused by not being open to
one another. People do not reveal themselves to one another because of
mistrust. Buber’s advice is that everyone should open to one another and should
be treated as equal human beings, as subjects. Therefore honest and sincere
dialogue between man and man is a prerequisite to build a dream world: unified
world, not a broken one.
Key words: genuine relationship and dialogue, subject to subject relationship
Introduction
It
cannot be denied that relationship matters much in human society. Human society
is built upon relations. There is no society and there is no community, if
there is no relationship. When they meet, they relate to each other and know
each other and decide to stay together. Such relationship is maintained by
dialogue and therefore, the same idea goes that no dialogue, no community or no
society. Dialogue is the one that strengthens the relationship because in the
dialogue people get to know each other better and makes the relationship
stronger.
We
have been living in the society or community for a long time and we have been
the eye witnesses of problems that are happening in our society, community and
even in the family as the core of society. Conflicts, wars, separation or
divorce are no longer extraordinary news to our ears but they are common news
that we encounter every day in newspapers, TV, radio and social media. The new
generations are born into this kind of society and their growth is formed by
this kind of society. Their mind, their world views are affected by the society
where they live. What will happen next? Most probably they will perpetuate such
kind of society to the next generation, a broken society, a violent society
unless there is a total cultural transformation in the way how they relate and view
others and the world around them.
The question of why we
have broken society will go back to the basic foundation of society and that is
relationship and such genuine relationship is built upon dialogue. Relationship
and dialogue are two essential factors that maintain a society, a community or
even family. Dialogue bridges the gap and the distances become closer. However,
the concern remains: what kind of dialogue that brings the society, community
or family together. In this research article, I would like to use the
philosophy of Martin Buber, an existentialist philosopher, as a lens to view
how we should build a peaceful society. In the view of Martin Buber, it is
possible to build a unified world and peaceful world, community or family, if
human beings let go their pride, treat one another as equal human being and be
honest to one another in their dialogue.
The
Existence of Broken World
It might be too
idealistic if we dream for a perfect world where all people are living in
harmony and having no wars or conflicts between religions, races and countries.
It was only the world inside the womb of our mother but when we are thrown or
born into this world, we do not see a world of peace without conflicts, a
person without enemy, country without enemy or religion without enemy. Though
through religion, we are taught not to have enemy but in reality we have enemy.
As Wayne (2015) argued that we see all around us the problems of a broken
society. The broken world is a reality, it is everywhere. This
broken realities mark our existence. It is in our homes, our cities, our
countries and in fact this entire world is in chaos. Animosities rule our lives
for to disagree with our neighbor is just under the surface of our nature. We
have been growing up in these realities and we have adjusted to them and we
have accepted them as part of our lives. But the questions are: who will stand
up to explain why our world is broken and what has caused it to be broken?
Shouldn’t we begin to realize that there is a cause or a reason for this
condition? Were we born with this condition? Don’t you think that if spiritual
leaders tell us that we are broken then they should be able to explain why the
world or society is broken?
The
questions that we have raised are nothing new. It has been long time ago,
Gabriel Marcel (1889-1973) wondered about our life and experience and he came
to a conclusion that we live in a broken world. He emphasized that the world we
live in is essentially broken, fractured by events in history (Marcel, 1995). He
was not alone in seeing such kind of world. Soren Kierkegaard (1983) lamented
that this world is irrational, in the sense that we do not understand how it
operates. Many things happen not according to human calculations because it
cannot be understood by reason. According to him, this world is marked by dread
or anxiety, guilt, absurdity, paradox, despair, death and nothingness. Other
philosopher before Kierkegaard but within the same generation, Arthur
Schopenhauer also viewed the world of his time as dark world because the world
is full of sufferings and viewed the life of individual as always a tragedy and
therefore he considered this world as irrational because many things happen
could not be comprehended (Copleston, 1975, 1946).
The
questions are raised: who is to be blamed? Did God inherit the broken world?
God never inherited a broken world but a perfect world, a peaceful world, a
world of harmony. However, the possibility of broken world or society is
imbedded in human blood. It may be true to what the Latin Proverb that says, “homo
homini lupus” which means that a man is a wolf to another man. Such proverb
reminds us of social contract theory of Thomas Hobbes that prior to social contract;
a man lived in the state of nature. Man’s life in the state of nature was one
of fear and selfishness. Man lived in chaotic condition of constant fear of
another because man wanted to dominate another man. Life in the state of nature
was poor, nasty, solitary, brutish and short (Elahi, n.d). Though we all are
living in a civilized world under the social contract but it seems that life
before the social contract, life in the state of nature is still the dominant
force in human relationship. Man lives in fear of another and therefore no one
opens to another. Thus, the current state of affairs which is characterized by
insincerity or hypocrisy is blamed to human beings themselves. The solution is
with the human beings themselves. They should be the one to restore peace and
unity among human beings by establishing genuine relationship and dialogue as
proposed by Martin Buber.
Martin
Buber’s View on How Human Beings Should Live
Buber
worked upon the premise of existence as encounter (Buber, 1947, 2002). In such
premise, Buber recognized that life is never lived alone but life is a society,
life is a community or a family, life is with others. Every day we encounter
other people and we communicate, then develop a relationship and form a society
or community. Society, community or family is a result of relationship and
dialogue. Thus, society is built upon relations and dialogue. There is no society, no community or family
without relationship and dialogue and that is why Buber argued that if there is
no dialogue among people, there is nothing human. However, the quality of
relationship depends much on dialogue because in the dialogue people start
revealing themselves to one another. How one reveals himself/herself to one
another in dialogue and how one treats the other dialogue is important to
establish a genuine relationship and a genuine community. After all, according
to Buber, society or community is not a bunch of objects but a bunch of
subjects or human persons and therefore one should know the proper way how to
deal and relate to one another as persons with dignity.
He
wrote about personal relationship between human beings and God, human beings
and their world which he summarized into I-You/Thou (Ich - Du) and I-It
(Ich-Es) relationship (Buber, 1958). From such pair of words, he went on to
explain the genuine relationship. He used the I-Thou or Ich-Du to describe
relationship between man and man and God. This is a subject to subject
relationship in the sense that people enter into a relationship with the whole
of their beings, as genuine persons with their own uniqueness and accept each
other as he/she is. One treats the other as subject with dignity, not to be
used or manipulated for one’s advantage. Therefore, the specific characteristic
of this relationship is reciprocity and mutuality. As a result of such
relationship, both parties who enter into a relationship grow together. There
is a mutual benefit that both parties received from such relationship (Buber,
1947, 2002). One is not taking advantage of another.
According
to Buber, such kind of relationship can be established if there is a genuine
dialogue (Buber, 1991). Genuine dialogue is when both parties open themselves
up to one another without wearing any mask.
There are no secrets to be hidden but one opens herself/himself up to
the other for the other to understand him/her and the other should accept the
person as he/she is. It is only in the openness; one can perceive the other
correctly and avoid misunderstanding. It is necessary, therefore, for the other
to open himself/herself to the other and welcome the other without condition.
In this dialogue, one should be silent and listening to the other and enter
into his/her world and understand her/him from his/her own stories.
For
Buber, genuine relationship is the foundation to build relationship with God (Kramer,
& Gawlick, 2003). Buber argued that the meeting between I-Thou is
not just between two people or between someone but every particular Thou is a
glimpse through the eternal Thou. In other words, our genuine dialogue and
relationship with the other and the world is the windows open to the eternal
Thou. Every I-Thou or I-You relationship
opens up a window to the ultimate Thou or God (Wood, 1969). It just means that one cannot approach God
without having a good relationship with fellow human beings. One cannot be holy
unless one has also good relationship with other fellow human beings and only
based on such relationship one can enter into dialogue with God. Therefore, the
present world which is marked by brokenness makes it hard for human beings to
reach God.
I-Thou
relationship is not just a relationship between man and man, man and God but it
also includes the relationship between man and environment. Environment has to
be approached through I-Thou relationship or subject to subject relationship.
Such idea reminds us that environment is not to be treated as object to be
manipulated but to be treated as equal with human beings, as subject. It
implies that we cannot also establish good relationship with the eternal Thou
unless we have good relationship with the environment because every particular
Thou or You is a glimpse through the eternal Thou. Destroying others and
destroying the environment is destroying our relationship with God and the
disappearance of God into human relations.
Buber
recognized that achieving genuine human relationship may become difficult when
people fall into I-it relationship. I-It relationship is a relationship between
subject and object. It is a relation of person to thing, of subject to
object, involving some form of utilization,
domination or control. This is not equal relationship because the other
is treated as object to be manipulated. One is subject, while the other is
object. This kind of relationship is not founded on mutual trust but suspicions
or mistrust (Buber, 1952). Within such
kind of relationship, the differences are accentuated and the uniqueness of “I”
is emphasized. Man enters into relation not with the wholeness of his being,
but part of it. Each is still wearing mask, does not open themselves up to each
other. Consequently one cannot open fully himself/herself to the other because
of mistrust and prejudices. Within the I-It or subject to object relationship,
there is no dialogue but only monologue. People pretend to be in dialogical
relationship but in reality there is no real dialogue because one is only
emphasizing his/her points and no listening.
Within this seeming
relationship, one cannot fully understand the other because their perception
toward each other is limited and such situation always causes misunderstanding.
The invasion of seeming and the inadequacy of perception can lead to conflict.
They pretend to be in dialogue but the dialogue is full of personal interest,
not common interest. They enter into dialogue with the self-interest agenda in
which one enter into dialogue because one wants to get something out of such
relationship. According to Buber, there
is a movement from relation to separation, a growing crisis of human existence
in modern society. He believed that the relationship between individual and
their selves, between people, and people and creation was increasingly that of
I-It. As a result, it is becoming more and more difficult to encounter God
(Wood, 1969).
Building
a Peaceful Society Based on Buber’s Idea
Based on Buber’s idea of
the encounter, relationship and dialogue, we cannot deny the fact that building
a peaceful society is depending on what kind of relationship and dialogue among
human beings. Buber admitted that there is a growing crisis in human society and
the reason of such crisis is human relationship. Human relationship is no
longer between I-Thou or subject to subject but more on I-It relationship or
subject to object relationship. The nature of such kind of relationship is no
longer based on mutual trust but suspicions. Each one is suspicious toward the
other and one does not trust the other one and therefore create a distance.
There is no more room for genuine dialogue and there is no possibility of
openness. The more people are distancing from each other, the more they are
suspicious.
Buber frankly pointed out that
we are entering into crisis because the relationship between man/woman and
himself/herself, between man/woman and the environment are no longer I-Thou but
more of I-it. In this kind of relationship, one does not meet the other as
subject but as object to be used for one’s advantage. One enters into a
relationship with the other because of certain personal interest. One country
enters into relationship with the other country because it wants to gain
something from such relationship. Business enters into a relationship with
other business because of something to be gained. A man enters into a
relationship with a woman because he knows that something can be gained from
the woman. These agendas are not revealed, but hidden within the person and the
other does not have the capability to detect the real agenda of the person why
he/she enters into the relationship. Buber lamented that the growth of the
individual persons are impeded because of the invasion of seeming and the
inadequacy of perception. Why? Within this kind of relationship, people can no
longer communicate themselves to one another as what they are and so they
cannot really know and understand each other. They are stranger to each other
and therefore, they are no longer true to each other because their inner self is
not revealed. They are wearing mask all the time, there is no authenticity.
Building a peaceful and
harmonious society should be based on genuine relationship or I-Thou
relationship. Each one should be treated as subjects, no matter who they are.
One needs to accept one another as they are, not based certain condition. Buber
advised that in order to create peaceful society, man has to unfold because man
does not exist in isolation but in the completeness of relation. The
completeness of relation can be achieved through opening up oneself to the
other, no pretense, no seeming and ready to welcome the other as they
are.
Conclusion
Following the basic
concept of Buber about the encounter, we have simple conclusion that broken
world is caused dishonest relationship, dishonest relationship. Each one is
taking advantage of one another. One is using another as object of
manipulation. Buber recommends that relationship has to be a subject to
subject, not subject and object. Everyone should be treated as equal individual
human beings; no one is lower than the other. Honest and sincere dialogue is
essential aspect to build or to heal the broken world. After all, we cannot
build relationship with God unless we have good relationship with one another
and with the environment.
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