Meaningful life, in great part, is all about good human and public relations: A Nun's Perspective

By:   Sr. Rebecca (Theogenia) Magallanes, OSB

 Administrator, Tahanang Walang Hagdanan in Vigan

“It is not necessary for you to know one’s name before you greet him”. 

Introduction

LOOKING back now, my first lesson on good human and public relations dates back to that Sunday morning many years ago when my Daddy and I were walking to the local public market to buy a few food items.  I noticed that he was cheerfully greeting everyone we came across with. Curious, I asked him, “Do you know them?” With a faint smile, he answered, “No child, I don’t know them at all.” “Well then why are you greeting them?” I further asked in bewilderment.  He stopped and bent down a little to whisper to my tiny ears saying “My child, do you think it is necessary for you to know one’s name before you greet him?” There was complete silence throughout the rest of our walk to the market.  After an honest-to-goodness reflection on that incident some while later, I soon found myself greeting people no matter who they were.  Pretty soon, I came to be known as a youth who is not stingy with smiles.  I learned to give them freely and spontaneously.

 

Simple lesson, lifelong impact

 

SLOWLY it dawned on me that the lesson I learned from my father that Sunday morning years ago had been boldly imprinted in my personal psyche.  From that time on, I continuously discover how good relationship can create wonders; how it can make things “better than yesterday.”  But I must admit that good relationship does not evolve as easily as the flick of a finger.  It starts from cultivating a good disposition and behavior.  The process is oftentimes harsh as it demands change… a total change from within.  There can be no real change if it does not come from a conscious personal effort and decision to do so.  As an oft-quoted line states: “Behavior is what people do and say.” Hence, to achieve good behavior, one must decide to work hard and develop it.  Good behavior comes as the consequence of an attitude and habit to do a right thing well.  Thus, one has to do a right act or assume an attitude that conforms to socially and morally-accepted standards constantly.  It is only when one is conditioned to do good that that good becomes true and spontaneous.  From this will flow the ability of the person to relate to and with others in a harmonious and more sincere way.  In a cyclic manner, I think it is appropriate to say that good and right attitude fuels good behavior and good behavior engenders good and wholesome relations. I believe it is along this line of thinking and disposition that I continue to cultivate and nurture good relationships with others.  I consider myself truly blessed for having a family that provided me and continue to provide me with ample support and valuable lessons that can last me a lifetime.  I saw my father as one who only wanted to have an honest and authentic relationship with our family and with other people. He made it clear to us that he wanted no part in pretensions and plasticity.  He was brutally frank but soft and passionate enough to listen to others.  He kept conversations and personal secrets to himself, treating these as sacred and confidential.  In effect, he taught me a very deep respect to the stories of others, to be genuinely interested in people and to be supportive to their causes in any possible way.  He clearly impressed upon us, his children, that wholesome public relation is simply the offshoot of good human relation which must start at home.

Public relations skills tested

MY FIRST exposure on public relations had to be that time when I was challenged to lead the Basic Ecclesiastical Community which was composed of my family and fifteen other households in our neighborhood. I was in my fourth year of high school at the time.  Being young with not much experience to boot, and catapulted suddenly to lead these families was too much for our parish leaders to comprehend. They wanted badly to block my election.  But when they saw the trust and support that I was accorded by the community and that I was able to carry on the responsibility very successfully, they relented in their plan. That left them with no recourse but to award me a special permit that carried a six-month conditional probation.  If they see I can manage, I may continue; if not, they would take back the leadership responsibility. Far from my expectation, I journeyed in flying colors with that community for a good three years! I can only marvel now at the many miracles that were thrown our way during those years.  I can’t thank enough the good Lord above for such grace.

HUMAN and public relations, in reality, are beautifully intertwined and mutually dependent; the former becomes the base of the latter. These two have become very much part of my life as a religious missionary who traverse roads many of which seem to be less-travelled. A very factual experience of mine relates to my handling people with disability in Tahanang Walang Hagdanan in Vigan (TWH).  In the beginning, it appeared there was nothing much that could be done for their case.  It is a given that people of their nature cannot function like normal people do.  But when I started to communicate and feel with them, I became aware that they are people with lofty dreams and aspirations.  It was this particular awareness which served as my springboard to work even harder with them. I afford them the benefit of formal education through mobile teachers.  Then when they are ready to tackle a formal education, I get them enrolled at the Divine Word College of Vigan.  It has been all of six years now that we have been working together, journeying together to attain a particular goal.  The goal is for them to live normal lives in society so that they become part of its growth and development in all aspects. 

 Learning from others

MEANINGFUL day-to-day living demands no less than a harmonious interplay of good human and public relations. God has specially created us as social beings.  As such, we relate with one another and depending on the kind of relationship we opt to forge with others, we can either become better or the other way around. Maybe it serves us well to recognize the fact that other people have always some things to teach us.  To do this, we need to open our eyes and be accepting to these teaching and learning opportunities that others provide.  Sometimes we are inclined to misjudge others because we are not aware of their specific needs and concerns. Ironically, however, sometimes the things we are misjudging them for are things we have in our person.

Conclusion 

 

BY WAY of closing, may I be allowed to offer some tips which, one way or the other, help me go through with life.  At the start of a new day, I would convince myself to be optimistic.  I would resolve to adopt a positive attitude towards others and towards situations, especially those I have no control of.  I would decide to be genuinely interested in people.  As smiles can make the world go round, why don’t I give a smile?  In line with our school’s motto, “Serve with love,” I endeavor to renew my daily commitment of serving others with love.  Finally, in this quest of building good relationships with others, the Golden Rule has never failed me; in fact, it has become my great and constant source of daily inspiration: “Do unto others what you would want others do unto you.”