Wilmalyn U. Agudelo
Divine Word College of Laoag
This article was published in this blog after the author granted permission to publish.
Abstract
The journey of losing faith in God due to heart disease and financial problems is a profound and complex odyssey that plunges individuals into the depths of existential turmoil. This reflective essay focuses on the complex experience of struggling with the loss of faith in the face of physical illness and financial difficulties. Through introspection and philosophical inquiry, it delves into the intricacies of doubt, despair, and eventual realization, illuminating the transformative potential of rediscovery amidst the darkness.
Keywords: faith, hope, suffering
Introduction:
Faith is
an inner attitude, conviction, or trust relating human beings to a supreme God
or ultimate salvation. In religious traditions that stress divine grace, it is
the inner certainty or attitude of love granted by God himself. In Christian
theology, faith is the divinely inspired human response to God’s historical
revelation through Jesus Christ and, consequently, is of crucial significance.
(The Editors of Encyclopaedia Britannica, n.d.) The idea of faith includes
confidence, trust, and belief in something without the need for evidence or
proof. It frequently entails having a firm belief or confidence in an
intangible, such as spiritual truths, religious concepts, or the dependability
of a person or concept. There are many ways that faith can appear. Religious
faith is the belief in a higher power and the teachings of a particular
religion. Personal faith is believing in oneself or others in the face of
uncertainty or hardship. Faith has a vital role in forming worldviews,
directing behavior, and offering consolation during trying times. It can give
people a feeling of meaning, purpose, and hope.
Though it
is frequently referred to as a ray of hope and comfort, faith may be severely
tested when faced with hardships in one's own life. Any unforgettable
experience characterized by intensely challenging times can push the boundaries
of our views and ideas. Severe illness and financial hardship are two of the
most heartbreaking experiences that caused man’s trust in a higher power of God
to be shaken to its core.
The experience of losing faith because of a severe illness is a very intimate and complicated one that is characterized by significant obstacles, existential reflection, and the hunt for purpose in the face of hardship. Man frequently finds himself navigating a maze of uncertainty and misery as he faces the facts of his mortality and wrestles with the uncertainties surrounding his health and family, oftentimes doubting the core of his beliefs.
The
Shattered Illusion
Man
often claims to have faith, but when his faith is put to the test, he must do
more than just say the words. Often, man can’t truly exercise the virtue of
faith when he has no reason to believe in anything. When things are going well,
it is easier to have faith; when they are not, it is far more difficult.
According to Blain (n.d.), losing your faith can involve the loss of connection
with the things you believe in, whether it's your religion, your values, or
humankind. It can be a devastating feeling that undermines your confidence,
convictions, and well-being. Losing your faith can take a toll on your
resilience and undermine your sense of belonging. But it can also be an
opportunity to grow, build a stronger sense of self-awareness, and cultivate
new beliefs that are more closely aligned with your current values, goals, and
needs.
The
sudden presence of a severe illness now casts a dark cloud over man’s
existence, threatening to disrupt everything. The added financial burden only
deepened the crisis with mounting expenses creating a sense of despair and
engulfing the overwhelming wave. Faith was tested as man grappled with the
reality of a health condition and a financial problem. Questions about life’s
fairness arose as mortality became a reality. The strain of battling a disease
led to doubts, about the benevolence of a power. How could a compassionate
deity allow suffering? The disease diagnosis plunged man into uncertainty and
fear triggering a crisis. Suddenly, death loomed large, casting its shadow over
every aspect of his life. Amid doctor appointments, treatments, and debilitating
symptoms, man now finds himself questioning the justice of life and feeling
abandoned by an absent God in a time of suffering. Dealing with such a
condition brings not just physical struggles but also emotional and
psychological weight.
He may
occasionally experience disorientation, anxiety, and withdrawal at the
strangest moments. Doubt stole into the back of his mind like a robber in the
night as he struggled to accept the reality of his situation. Questions like
"Why me?" that had before seemed unfathomable were now loud and
clear. Why this time? What role does God play in this? He now felt deceived and
abandoned, floating in a sea of existential sorrow, by the contrast between his
suffering and the idea of a loving god. He now found himself perched on the
edge of disbelief as the once-firm foundations of his religion gave way under
the pressure of uncertainty.
In the depths of his despair, doubt became his
constant companion, whispering insidious questions about the fairness of life
and the existence of a loving God. He questioned the purpose of his suffering,
struggling to reconcile the inherent injustice of his circumstances with the
teachings of his faith. The darkness of doubt enveloped him, casting a shadow
over every aspect of his existence and leaving him feeling utterly lost and
alone.
Another struggle was how to project the idea that a man is strong and appears to embody the epitome of professionalism and competence in his workplace. Despite my inner turmoil, he needs to maintain a facade of normalcy for the outside world. He needs to show a smile on my face and go through the motions of my daily routine, all the while concealing the struggles that threaten to consume him. He needs to bury his pain beneath a mask of perfection.
Finding
Meaning Amidst the Chaos
Yet,
amidst the darkness, man began to glimpse rays of light illuminating a path
toward rediscovery and renewal. Kabatebate (n.d.) said that when we are facing
problems in life, it can be difficult to believe that God has a plan for every
challenge that we face. We can be tempted to believe that God is more
interested in punishing us than in helping us. We can be tempted to believe
that God would rather see us struggle than conquer. However, it is important to
learn from Jeremiah 29:11 that God does not purpose in His mind to harm you.
God loves His creation and you are created in His image. God is not sadistic.
God will therefore never create you so that He can spend His time ensuring that
only bad things happen in your life. God has great plans for you. God plans to
“prosper you” and “give you hope and a future.”.
As man navigates the challenges of life, he can discover unexpected sources of meaning and purpose in the most unlikely of places. His sufferings act as a trigger for existential analysis and contemplation. During difficult times, man was forced to ask himself about the big issues of life and look for purpose in the face of hardship. Through this process, suffering turns into a means of learning about oneself, one's relationship to the divine, and the larger human situation. Through acts of kindness and compassion, man found solace in the interconnectedness of humanity and the profound beauty of human connection. He learned to find joy in the small moments of everyday life, and to appreciate the inherent richness of existence, even amidst the most challenging circumstances.
Embracing
Resilience and Hope
Suffering,
according to Friedrich Nietzsche, is a blessing in disguise. His theory is that
people who can endure difficult circumstances and pain are stronger individuals
who are better prepared for life’s challenges. For him, those who can suffer
and persevere have a greater capacity for meaning and purpose in life (Dutt,
2022). The experience of pain puts man’s faith to the test and disproves
beliefs about God's kindness. He struggled with emotions of abandonment or
uncertainty at difficult times, doubting God's goodness in the face of what
seemed to be pointless suffering.
Nevertheless,
suffering serves as a refinement, a deepening, and ultimately a strengthening
of faith. Through the crucible of suffering, man emerged with a renewed sense
of resilience and hope, determined to embrace life's challenges with courage
and integrity. Though the road ahead remains uncertain, he walks it with a
newfound sense of purpose. Man has come to realize that faith is not a
destination to be reached, but a journey to be embraced—a journey marked by
uncertainty, doubt, and eventual realization.
The moment man recognized the power of God and renewed his faith in Him, everything became easier. God used different people to show that every day is a blessing. In God’s hands, everything will be possible just stay faithful to him.
Conclusion:
The
journey of losing faith in God due to severe illness and financial struggles
has been a profound and transformative odyssey, marked by moments of despair,
doubt, and eventual rediscovery. Through the darkness of doubt, man has learned
to find meaning amidst the chaos and to embrace the inherent beauty of
existence. There will be a newfound sense of purpose and an unwavering
commitment to living a life guided by courage, resilience, and compassion.
Yet, in
the depths of despair, man began to realize that faith is not synonymous with
certainty. It is a journey fraught with doubt and ambiguity, a journey that
demands courage and resilience in the face of life's greatest challenges. As he
grappled with the erosion of my beliefs, he found solace in the resilience of
the human spirit and the beauty of human connection. Regaining faith after
going through hardship is a powerful and life-changing event. It's a journey
filled with periods of uncertainty, hopelessness, and, at the end, a deep
spiritual awakening. A man emerged from the depths of sorrow with fresh insights
and a stronger bond with his faith through introspection and reflection.
Through the support of loved ones and the guidance of the Lord, man began to explore new avenues for finding meaning amidst the chaos of circumstances. He discovered strength he never knew he possessed and resilience that transcended the confines of belief. In relinquishing his faith in a higher power, man discovered a deeper connection to the world around him and a profound appreciation for the inherent beauty of existence. He learned that meaning can be found not in the absence of suffering but in our capacity to endure and grow amidst adversity. And though he may never fully reconcile the mysteries of faith and suffering, he walks forward with a renewed sense of hope and a deep-seated belief in the transformative power of the human spirit. Losing faith in God due to an illness and financial struggles was a painful yet enlightening journey that ultimately led man to rediscover the beauty and meaning inherent in the human experience. Though the road ahead may be fraught with uncertainty, he will walk it with a newfound sense of purpose and an unwavering commitment to embracing life's challenges with courage, resilience, compassion, and a stronger faith in God.
References
Blain,
T., MA. (n.d.). What to Do When You Feel You Are Losing Your Faith. Verywell
Mind. Retrieved February 22, 2024, from https://www.verywellmind.com/losing-faith-definition-suggestions-and-take-away5214137#:~:text=For%20example%2C%20divorce%2C%20job%20loss,a%20person's%20sense%20of%20faith
Dutt,
S. (2022). Nietzsche: Why Suffering Is Valuable? (1/13) - Nietzsche’s
Philosophy - Medium. Medium. Retrieved February 25, 2024, from https://medium.com/nietzsches-philosophy/nietzsche-why-suffering-is-valuable-ed6b729bb727
Faith:
Contemporary Perspectives | Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy. (n.d.-c). https://iep.utm.edu/faith-contemporary-perspectives/
Kabatebate, S. (n.d.). Why
does God allow problems in my life? - InspiredWalk.com. InspiredWalk.com.
Retrieved February 25, 2024, from https://www.inspiredwalk.com/1103/why-god-allows-problems-in-your-life
The
Editors of Encyclopaedia Britannica. (n.d.). Faith | Beliefs, Practices &
History. Encyclopedia Britannica. Retrieved February 21, 2024, from https://www.britannica.com/topic/faith
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