Relationship building toward an effective leadership

Article by Jefferson V. Baloaloa

Divine Word College of Laoag

jvbaloaloa@yahoo.com

Abstract

            Leaders strive every day to become successful in leading the organization. Encouraging collaborative and productive team relationships is one of the solutions. To be successful, it is believed that a leader must be able to bring out the best in each team member and the team as a whole. This article proves this claim as it analyzed the importance of relationship building towards effective leadership. Relational leadership theories were reviewed and it emphasizes the importance of leaders building quality relationships with their followers to achieve individual and organizational effectiveness. Both theories also demonstrate the importance of effective communication that allows both leaders and followers to build trust and commitment. It was found out that the quality of the relationship followers has with their leader is the primary driver of these feelings of engagement. Therefore, relationships really matter as a fundamental enabler of the organization’s ability to attract, keep and get the very best out of the people. In this article, various concepts were discussed to help leaders equip the necessary characteristics in becoming an effective leader. Further, effective leaders must be open and transparent with their followers and serve the community in a way that benefits everyone.

Keywords: Leadership, Building Relationship and Relational Leadership Theories

Introduction

             People are at the center of all leadership efforts. Leaders cannot lead unless they understand the people they are leading. One way to look at leadership is that the function of a leader is to lead and guide people who will follow with the same values. An effective leader thus must be able to build relationships and create communities. We can define leadership as inspiring people and planning for the future with the motivating factors of relationship building and community service. Relationships can happen between concepts, actions, and values.

The management gurus James Kouzes and Barry Posner discussed the importance of relational leadership in their book, The Leadership Challenge. They state, “When leadership is a relationship founded on trust and confidence, people take risks, make changes, keep organizations, and movements alive. Through that relationship, leaders turn their constituents into leaders themselves” (Kouzes & Posner, 2007).

However, leaders’ relationships with their people are somewhat strained these days. Trust, a key part of any relationship, has been damaged by the financial crisis, the recession, corporate responses to the recession that were often necessary, but also very difficult. Rebuilding leadership trust and relationships is a critical component of engagement and for moving forward.

If leadership is a relationship, how do real relationships is built? The focus is not on the tasks and activities needed to get work done but relationships creating a work environment where the sum is greater than the parts. Leaders with strong, trusting and authentic relationships with their teams know that investing time in building these bonds makes them more effective overall.

Relational Leadership Model

Relational leadership is a relational process of people together attempting to accomplish change or make a difference to benefit the common good (Komives, S. R., Lucas, N., & McMahon, T. R., 1998). This philosophy values being ethical and inclusive. It acknowledges the diverse talents of group members and trust the process to bring good thinking to the socially responsible changes group members agree they want to work toward. Relationships are the key to leadership effectiveness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Relational Leadership Model

Relational leadership involves a focus on five primary components:

• Ethics: Upholds values and standards of morality.
• Purpose: Having a common set of values and vision to move an initiative forward. This means having an individual commitment to a goal or activity. It is also the individual ability to collaborate and find common ground with others to establish a common purpose, vision for a group, or work toward the public.
• Empowerment: Sharing power with others to embrace what they have to offer.
• Inclusivity: Welcoming and open to diverse points of view and diverse identities.
• Process-Orientation: The focus is on the group and how the group works together remaining a group, and accomplishing the group’s purpose.

Relational Leadership Theories

Leader-Member Exchange Theory (LMX). The first leadership theory is leader-member exchange (LMX) and focuses on the relationship between leaders and followers. This theory focuses on the relationship between the leader and each subordinate or dyad, so the theory posits that leaders develop an exchange with each of their subordinates and is a two-way interaction. The theory suggests that each of these relationships are unique and that the quality of the leader-member exchange relationships influence subordinates’ responsibility, decisions, and access to resources and performance (Bauer & Ergoden, 2015).

The relationships are based on trust and respect and extend beyond transactional, business relationships. Subordinates who develop strong emotional attachments with their mentors tend to engage more fully within the organization and become effective team members (Day & Miscenko, 2016).

Servant Leadership Theory. The servant leadership theory is based on the premise that leaders are effective when they first serve their followers. Essentially, the leader is not in a position of power above the followers, but the emphasis is on the leader meeting the concerns of the followers (Northouse, 2013). An effective servant leader empathizes with their followers and nurtures and empowers them to help them reach their full potential (Greenleaf, 2012).

There are ten characteristics that are central to the concept of servant leadership. It includes listening, empathy, healing, awareness, persuasion, conceptualization, foresight, stewardship, commitment to the growth of people, and building community.

Communication is an important skill for all leaders yet servant leadership emphasizes the value of listening intently to others. The servant-leader seeks to identify the aims and goals of the group and helps them fulfill this mission. The servant-leader is receptive to what is being said within the group. One of the hallmarks of a servant-leader is the ability to balance listening with periods of reflection to consider what they can offer the group (Greenleaf, 2012).

The servant-leader also strives to empathize with others and accepts their individual characteristics. So, although the servant-leader might not like something that they did, they choose not to reject them as people. Effective servant-leaders are also able to heal through forgiveness of themselves and of others. Servant leaders also recognize that they have the ability to help those who have been emotionally hurt and so they strive to help them when they come into contact.

Another characteristic of servant-leaders is that they are self-aware and so have strong ethical standards and values. Having this strong sense of morality enables servant-leaders to have a holistic view of the organization. Servant-leaders have an inner peace yet are also able to tackle and challenge thorny issues within the organization that are based on their code of ethics (Greenleaf, 2012).

Three Characteristics of Servant-Leaders

There are three characteristics of servant-leaders that show a commitment to the community and people in organizations. These are stewardship, commitment, and building community.

Stewardship. Stewardship means serving the needs of others to serve the greater good. Stewardship occurs when the servant-leader views the organization as an institution that exists for the greater good of society. This stewardship emphasizes the main goal of servant-leadership which is first and foremost a commitment to serving the needs of others coupled with an ability to persuade and to be open rather than to control others.

Commitment. Servant-leaders are committed to nurturing individuals and their potential. This stewardship is also revealed in the commitment that servant-leaders have for the growth of people. Servant-leaders believe that people have an intrinsic value beyond their contributions as employees so they engage in nurturing each individual within the organization.

Building Community. Role modeling helps build communities that hold together. Finally, servant-leaders are adept in building community particularly after the change has occurred and people feel they have lost some of the familiarity of old-style organizations. In order to build and rebuild communities, servant-leaders just need to show the way through demonstrating their own unlimited liability. In fact, mass movement is not needed but just for the servant-leader to be an excellent role model for others (Greenleaf, 2012).

Defining Relational Leadership Theories

Relational leadership theories shift attention to what transpires between individuals and center relationship as the locus of leadership. While academics and practitioners participate in the relational turn, they develop different philosophical understandings about the study of relationships of leadership.

The meeting place of all these different understandings is the awareness that leadership is not alone, secluded action. Instead, leadership lies in the collective action of interconnected individuals, an the outlook that challenges deep-held assumptions about leadership, such as individualism, agency, and independence.

Responding to these challenges requires first to distinguish between the different philosophical understandings around relational leadership to then move on to a discussion about what these offer to the conception of leadership. Views about relationality in today’s leadership arena fall into the following two broad philosophical domains: entitative and processual stances.

Entitative Perspective on Relational Leadership. This views leadership as starting from individuals and extending into the collaboration between one or more sides (Bolden et al. 2011). Leadership is produced by interacting individuals that are in relationships, with the production of leadership available from others than the appointed leader. The underlying premise is that one an individual cannot embody all the capacity needed to deal with organizational reality; therefore, there is the need to shift attention from individual to diffused forms of leadership.

This diffusion brings about an arrangement or a network of interacting individuals that come to form relationships. The entitative philosophical domain on relational leadership is primarily concerned with examining the conditions of diffusing leadership to achieve organizationally goals, under the assumption that interacting individuals are separated from each other before coming to form relationships.

Processual Perspective on Relational Leadership. Processual perspective on relational leadership conceptually demotions the role of the individual (Hosking 2011). This ontological position contests the hegemony of the bounded individual as well as the separation between leader and followers. Leadership is not an outcome of the action that can be traced back to individuals or networks of individuals; it is a process.

This implies that relationships are not independent of the individuals making them; they go on among individuals and the only the characterization that would then be possible about individuals is that they are temporary expressions of these relationships (Gergen 2009). Such a processual understanding questions individual agency as the source of leadership and redefines participants engaged in leadership beyond rational and self-contained entities.

Rather than the producers of leadership, individuals are relational participants in the process of leading. Instead of separating between leaders and followers, leadership becomes a process of negotiating social order, where the labels “leaders” or “followers” do not exist in advance. Labels do not come before relational processes; they become in the process.

The processual philosophical domain on relational leadership is primarily concerned with studying leadership in action. Starting from the premise that leadership does not precede relational interaction, the focus is on studying how relating to one another brings about orientation and organizational achievements – leadership direction.

Building Trust in Relationship

Effective leaders recognize the importance of building solid relationships. They spend time focusing their efforts in key areas that will build connections with the people they lead. These three simple tools that great leaders use to improve their working relationships:

Listen. Leaders let other people talk and they pay attention to what they’re saying. They remove anything that would distract from their conversations and focus on what people are trying to convey.

Understand. They appreciate what other people do and value their contributions. Leaders are not only open to new ideas but are also eager to learn new things. They know that taking the time to understand where people are coming from will pay dividends in the long run.

Acknowledge. Leaders acknowledge the contributions of others. They are quick to give credit to others for their successes. They celebrate achievements and delight in the accomplishments of their team. They know that people will be more motivated to work hard and try new things if their leader acknowledges their efforts.

In his book, The Trusted Advisor, David Maister discusses the trust equation, a formula for building sustained partnership with others. While he discusses the equation’s importance to business advisors, it describes the elements of trust that are key to real leadership.

The trust equation is:

Trust = C + R + I
        S

C is credibility. Leadership credibility has two components. The first is how much the team believes the words and actions of the leader. The second is to what degree the leader has the know-how, experience, or background to know what he is talking about. On the one hand, it is objective — does he has the ‘qualifications’ to be a leader. On the other hand, it’s an emotional response. Does he perceive himself as being believable? Does his actions reflect truthfulness? Does he have truthful intent? How many experiences have the team all had over the past 18 months that made them question the truthfulness of those they considered leaders? What’s the lingering impact on their workplaces?

R is reliability. People need to know they can count on leaders, that the leader will walk the walk and talk the talk. Leaders need to follow- through on promises and follow-up on commitments. There needs to be a sense of predictability and fairness in the way a leader approaches situations and people every single day. Otherwise, the relational bank account that funds trust goes into the red.

I is intimacy or the ability to create a personal connection. This does not mean that the leader needs to share his private life or dwell on the private lives of his people. It means recognizing that work is a personal place and issues like career development, promotions, compensation, reorganizations, hiring and firing are intensely personal. As a leader, the willingness to have emotional honesty about these and other issues in the workplace increases the trust that the team has in him and the commitment they have to his agenda.

Credibility, reliability and intimacy’s additive effect is mitigated by how much others perceive a leader is acting primarily out of self-concern. If others believe a leader building a ‘relationship’ primarily to serve his or her own interests — i.e., to advance his or her career, to manipulate a situation for advantage without regard to the goals, needs and struggles of others, to push off responsibility and blame others– trust is destroyed, the relationship is seen as disingenuous and engagement and commitment plummet.

According to Oxford Group (2019), there are five key conversations that a leader can have to transform trust and develop more effective workplace relationships. These are the following:

Establishing a trusting relationship. A conversation with a team member to share a deep, mutual understanding of the respective drivers, preferences, motivators, and demotivators for high performance at work, and to understand what makes each other tick.

Agreeing with mutual expectations. A conversation about not only what the team are both trying to achieve at work, but also why, and the expectations the leader can have to support each other in achieving these outcomes.

Showing genuine appreciation. A conversation to help a team member focus on where they are being successful, to jointly understand the reasons for their success, to say how much they appreciate their contribution and find further ways in which they can deploy their skills and talents to benefit both themselves and the organization.

Challenging unhelpful behavior. A conversation to agree on a new and more effective set of behaviors where what a team member or colleague is saying or doing is getting in the way of team performance.

Building for the future. A conversation to explore the future career aspirations of a team member and give the leader the best possible chance of creating conditions that will enable them to build that future career within his organization rather than elsewhere.

Relationship Building: Skills Needed by Leaders

In the recent two studies conducted by the Center for Creative Leadership (2020), relationship building was identified as a key skill for leaders. Whether he is the CEO of a or the principal of an elementary school, relationship skills matter a lot. Leaders who are skilled at building and maintaining relationships share several traits. Here’s what many effective leaders have in common in terms of relationship skills:

A leader must be self-aware. Self-awareness includes knowing your strengths and weaknesses, but also the impact that your behavior has on others. For example, say a small business owner takes pride in personally managing client relationships. She also realizes that her hands-on style can frustrate her staff by creating the appearance that she doesn’t trust or appreciate them. By taking into account the impact of her behavior, the business owner can adjust how she relates to her clients and employees.

An effective leader should be willing to delegate important tasks and decision making. Delegating — besides being an efficient way to lead — helps to build experience and confidence in others. It also forces leaders to give honest, consistent feedback and to motivate and reward people for their hard work. Think about the parent who teaches his kid to pick up after herself. While it may be slow-going at first, eventually the child develops the skill and is able to help around the house.

Skilled leaders must also have good interpersonal skills. They should be able to negotiate and handle work problems without alienating others. This requires an understanding of others’ perspectives and needs. Leaders with honed relationship skills develop a rapport with all kinds of people. Have you ever known a school principal who is equally comfortable with students, parents, teaching staff, and school board? If so, you’ve seen people skills at their best.

Effective leaders must have a participative management style. Strong leaders use effective listening skills and communication to involve others, build consensus, and influence decisions. Compare the styles of 2 city mayors, for example. One mayor is participative; the other autocratic. Initially, the mayor who values relationships and broad communication appear to be less effective than the more independent-minded mayor. But, as time passes, the participative mayor is able to build support for key initiatives and is considered a good leader and skilled administrator. In contrast, the authoritarian mayor faces many political roadblocks and becomes highly controversial.

One other significant point — the importance of feedback. Giving and receiving effective feedback is one of the best ways leaders can improve their relationship skills. Feedback lets people know how they’re doing reinforces goals and encourages strong effort. When giving feedback, make sure to focus on a single message, being specific, and be sensitive. And remember to judge the behavior, not the person.

Being good at relationships isn’t just a personality trait. And the good news for everyday leaders is that we can all improve.

Conclusion

The leader of today is no longer the lone hero who can do it all. It is critical for leaders now to encourage collaborative, productive team relationships while leading. To be successful, a leader must be able to bring out the best in each team member and the team as a whole. One of the key practice areas effective leaders demonstrate is Enable Others to Act, which focuses on the importance of building trust and relationships within the team. Relational leadership theories emphasized the importance of leaders building quality relationships with their followers in order to achieve individual and organizational effectiveness. Both theories demonstrated the importance of effective communication that allows both leaders and followers to build trust and commitment. The theories also show how power and coercion are unnecessary sanctions that only exist to harm the organization. The most effective leaders are those who are open and transparent with their followers and serve the community in a way that benefits everyone.

Therefore, when employees have high levels of engagement this has a significant, measurable, and transformational impact on organizational performance. Research shows that it is the quality of the relationship people feel they have with their immediate leader or manager that is the primary driver of these feelings of engagement. So, relationships really matter. They are not an optional take it or leave it factor. They are a fundamental enabler of the organization’s ability to attract, keep, and get the very best out of the people. Effective leaders know that leadership is a relationship, and leaders and managers with poor or toxic relationships with their teams will see performance suffer.

Without relationship, there is no trust. Without relationship, there is no extra effort. Day after day, people do not come to work for a time clock. They come to work for a person. And for them to give anything other than the minimum, they must have relationships with that person.

References:

1)      Bolden, R., Hawkins, B., Gosling, J., & Taylor S (2011) Exploring Leadership: Individual, Organizational & Societal Perspectives. Oxford University Press, Oxford

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3)      Gergen, K.J. (2009) Relational Being: Beyond Self and Community. Oxford: Oxford University Press

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10)  Schaefer, B. (2015). On Becoming a Leader: Building Relationships and Creating Communities. Retrieved from https://er.educause.edu/articles/2015/10/on-becoming-a-leader-building-relationships-and-creating-communities. Retrieved on July 20, 2020.

11)  The Oxford Group. (2019). Why Leadership is about Relationships. Retrieved from https://www.oxford-group.com/insights/why-leadership-about-relationships. Retrieved on July 21, 2020.

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